I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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