Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I sprained my soul last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
