Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
