Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
