if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
