i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
