I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
