My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
