do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
