Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
