so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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