In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
