Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is Oprah even human
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
