We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
