Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
