Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
