I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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