I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
