Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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