Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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