He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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