Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
