I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
