It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
