She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
