dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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