I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
