ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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