I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
