tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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