90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
