Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
