as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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