Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
