So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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