im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
