Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
