I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
