your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
