You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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