Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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