I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
