Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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