Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
