Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
