dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's always time for handjobs
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
