We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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