I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
