I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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