better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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