Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
